Happy Now, tired later!
Welcome to the roller coaster of emotions a.k.a mommyhood
Well, the doctor gives you a due date. But everyone just keeps saying "you may deliver anytime in the 9th month and the due date is just a formality”.
Formality schmormality . . I was having NONE of it!!
I was anything but prepared to have my baby ANY time. So I did, what I could do, what any woman in my position would do. Right?
Coax the baby...er...baby belly into NOT coming before time
Delay packing the hospital bag and give the universe a sign (Wink wink)
I think my teacher training played a role and the universe and the baby relented. In fact, not only did the baby not come before the date, the baby demanded that I NOW plead it into the world.
Hence, labour was induced. There is nothing, I tell you, NOTHING, that can make the having-a-baby process easier! Let's face it, the baby, a tiny human being, will have to pop out of a very tiny space OR a doctor will have to slice you open and take it out. NOT a very appealing list of options.
But the baby has to come and will come in whatever way it wishes. After 16 hours of labour, during the last of which I had nurses scream into my ears,
"Didiii potty ka zor lagao, baby aa jayega!"
CONSTANTLY! ALL I wanted to do was wring their necks and scream back, "WOMAN! That is exactly what I am trying to do but it's not working! "
After a lot of effort and pushing, baby Uday finally decided to come see the world. Yes, labour is a real female-version-of-a-dog! But trust me, the wail of a baby makes you forget it, instantly.
Your sole job in the hospital is to feed the baby and the rest is taken care of by the hospital staff. But somehow Day 1 with Uday seemed like the hardest and the rest like a cakewalk. Thanks to all the pain.
However, what followed, was nothing the articles you read, will EVER tell you.
Hello ladies welcome to the world of early motherhood!
In the first few days, you go through a tsunami of emotions:
Love: Your baby, your little miracle, is your world and there is nothing you wouldn't do for it.
Paranoia: Is my baby okay? Why did the baby sneeze? Why did the baby blink? Are babies supposed to fart so loudly? Are babies supposed to sleep as much? Is my milk enough for the baby? Is my baby fat enough?
Google becomes your best friend. Or BabyChakra if you're lucky to download it at the right time.
Hunger: Now, this is not the food kind of hunger. You find the baby so cute that you want to eat it's tiny little toes and hands or nose or anything you could tuck into. How often have I found myself resisting the urge to munch my little munchkin.
Exhaustion: Thank you neverrrrr ending laundry. How does a baby produce as much pee and poo? Where does it come from? I mean people would've mistaken me for a dhoban/washerwoman easillyy...
And thank you baby ride jet lag.
Happiness: So there are these rare moments when you know you still can get a little time to sleep but instead you chose to admire your baby. Your baby makes you smile allll the time.
Irritation: Since babies sleep during the nights, you would think, you can catch up on your sleep during the day but no! Hello, line-up of relatives. You are JUST what I needed. Groan groan! The only consolation was they came with some money that goes into Uday-fund.
Helplessness: There were times when my baby just wouldn't sleep or stop crying. That’s when this happens: Rock-a-by-baby-twinkle-little-star-how-wonder-what-you-are-my-sunshine -make-me-happy. You're mumbling! Why? You're tired! It's night and you want to sleep. You can't think straight.
Desperation: You want earplugs to mute the torrential advice that comes flying at you from all directions.
And I definitely don't want to keep my head covered in this extreme heat. I don't want to not take a bath for 15 days. Thanks but no thanks!
Wonder: How did your life change to this extent? How can something bring you so much happiness despite all the exhaustion? How come you were happy without this?
Soon you start to get a hang of it. It's almost as if you were engineered to do so. But at the end of all of this if you ask me, would I trade motherhood for anything else? A big fat NO!