When hormones make you parade!
Uday was born with the nurses screaming into my ears, "Didi potty ka pressure lagao, baby aa jayega" But baby took his own sweet time to come. I thought day 1 with Uday was the hardest and rest will be a cake walk. My evil crazy lady hormones had other plans!
They made me go through a tsunami of emotions.
First on the list was LOVE: My baby, my little miracle, my woooshy mooshy with teeny tiny moochi (moustache)!
When love comes PARANOIA accompanies: Why did the baby sneeze? Why did the baby blink? Why did the baby fart? Why does he sleep so much? Can he wear short sleeves? Why? How? What? Can?
Google became best friend which was replaced by babychakra as soon as I downloaded it.
Hunger : Why do people call their babies or little muffins or cuppy cakes? Because you want to eat their tiny little toes, their tiny little hands or nose or anything your cannibalistic self can tuck into. So often did I find myself resisting the urge to munch my little munchkin.
Happiness and Pride: Watching Uday and his baby ways was as if someone had injected me with happy hormones. I had never experienced this kind of happiness before. Ever! EVERYthing about him was beautiful even his poop!
Of course it isnt all rosy. Raising a baby means extreme EXHAUSTION: thank you ENDLESS laundry. HOW does a baby produce so much pee and poop? Baby detergent and dettol became the perfume I wore.
Update secretly thought he was born in a different time zone so he slept during the day and was wide awake during the nights. I, now went through life, zombied.
IRRITATION: I thought I'd catch up on my sleep during the day but no! Hello never ending relatives. You, who want tea and biscuits and food, are JUST what I needed. Groan and groan!
HELPLESSNESS, that's the next stage: my baby just wouldn't sleep or stop crying during some nights. Rock-a-by-baby-twinkle-little-star-how-wonder-what-you-are-my-sunshine -make-happy. I was mumbling! Why? I was tired! It was night and l I wanted was to sleep. Soothe, they said, sing for the baby, they said. All in vain.
Finally came DESPERATION: I wanted earplugs to mute the torrential advise thrown at me from EVERYONE one. Good place schmood place! My baby my rules. So,
I don't want to start the bottle.
I don't want to eat excessive ghee laden things.
I don't want to keep my head covered in this extreme heat.
I don't want to not take a bath for 15 days.
Thanks but no thanks!
Basically it was really a muddled mess but as you go through it, you realise that you are engineered to do deal with it. Motherhood makes magicians out of all of us and every moment, every smile, every cry, every sniff, every sleepless night, EVERYthing about the baby is pure magic!